Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Obama - The Marlboro Man?

Wasn’t the Marlboro man the guy on the horse in the wild west?

The word is out - Obama appears to have kicked the habit. Michelle Obama said last Tuesday her husband has stopped for almost a year. Good news for the Pres, his family, and all others interested in reducing smoking in the US.

However, it got me thinking. Rumor has it Obama smoked Marlboro Reds. Marlboro’s ads famously featured the Marlboro man, a guy on the horse with the Wyoming mountains in the background. A guy who worked his jeans off, and probably would not have been caught dead in a suit in Chicago. So let’s imagine; wouldn’t that have been something - Obama doing Marlboro ads? “Come to Marlboro Country” and “Come to where the flavor is.” 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., D.C.? For inauguration, he could have ridden his horse right up to the big house. Hmmm,...I wonder how long it would have taken him to get a permit to build a barn on the grounds for his horse and the secret service horses. Of course, the planning commission or whoever decides all those things probably would have given him a waiver.

But wait - what if he smoked something else?

If O were a woman, Virginia Slims would have been appropriate; “You’ve come a long way, Baby!” But alas, he’s not. Maybe for Michelle. Does Michelle smoke? I don’t think so.

How about Camel? Given the problems in Egypt these days, a Camel would show his acceptance of all things Middle Eastern, and would look good in a press appearance with Mubarak. Plus, “More doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette,” so it would go right along with Michelle’s health kick. I mean, after all “I’d walk a mile for a Camel.” These days, that’s considered good exercise. Who knows, since doctors “recommended them,” he might have ordered us to smoke Camels. It could have been written into Obamacare. “Walk a mile, smoke a camel.”

Or he could go back and forth between Camel and Mecca - “Where Was Moses When the Lights Went Out? Groping for a pack of Meccas.” Groping for a pack of Marlboros doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Of course, they way he has tried to redistribute the wealth, he must have been listening to his Chesterfield-smoking base, “Blow some my way.” He managed to blow a lot their way. He blew some our way as well, along with some mirrors.

Or maybe they were smoking Muriel cigars "Hey, big spender, spend a little dime on me."

Unfortunately, the 111th congress must have been smoking Tareyton - when asked along the way to cooperate with Republicans and get some bi-partisan legislation passed, they said they would “Rather fight than switch.” So they fought, and congress switched.

Actually, though, this puts a new spin on things. We all know how tough it is for people to think clearly when they are giving up the habit. Could this be why he hasn’t had a clue for so long? Nicotine withdrawal? Or is he just planning on using that as an excuse?

I wonder if you are allowed to smoke on Air Force One. Did he smoke in the Oval Office? I haven’t seen him chewing gum - is he using the patch?

I just figured it out! He is always so composed, Kool must have been his cigarette of choice!

I’m rambling. I’ll stop now. I just couldn’t help it.

Mercer Tyson

1 comment:

  1. GOT TO HAVE BEEN KOOL'S. NO QUESTION. Racially Kools fit the ethnic pressure. He exudes the "Kool" mystique, and, after all, he IS the prez! Dennis